Activities of a 3 year old

Summer is fast heating up. The temperature in Pune at the start of this week touched 39.2 deg. C. We can't go out and taking Arya out is out of the question. School is still open and he is ok going there. Since he is of a fast-learning age, I want to teach him some things and know what he likes doing.

I have introduced him to:

Sponge painting: Got a Hobby Ideas sponge painting kit for him. It has some sponge cut-outs, colors and a brush.
Me: Arya, I got a geeffft (gift) for you.
Arya: Majasathi? De na mala geeft.
Me: (Showing the box) See, it is for you! But since I have to rush to office now, we will open this and play in the evening.
Arya: Open it now!!!!! Please mumma.
So we opened it and enjoyed stamping a few elephants, cars, and butterflies. He loved mixing colors on the palate with the brush. He loves using the brush to color the sponge. He simply didn't allow me to touch the sponges after the 1st time I showed him what to do.

Finger painting: We did finger painting together. I taught him how to make flowers with fingers, and some animals too. He didnt like it a lot as it makes hands messy. He hates dirt and grime and thinks his hands are dirty with color!

Play dough: I have shown him his play dough set this week. (He had gotten that as his birthday gift in Jan!) He was so excited. He thinks that I am the coolest mumma ever!
We played for a huge time, making 3D houses, a 3D London bridge, some ducks, trucks, etc. He loves to press the dough through the machine to get various shapes. Here are a few pics of the house and the well we made! Needless to say, even I as an adult love to do these activities!

Vegetable stamping: This is simple. I was alone in the house, making pav-bhaji vegetable, and Arya wanted attention. So I lifted him on the kitchen table (yes this is risky to do) and kept a big drawing book in front of him. I made cross sections of  Potato, Capsicum, Tomato.  For Potato I cut the cross section into a flower. I created a paste of turmeric with water in a plate and lo behold, our activity began! He started stamping all veggies on the white paper creating a nice pattern. I remembered our good old Jai Hind High School days. Our drawing and craft teachers were too good. We even had a leaf stamping class! At the end of this activity Arya said to me 'Mummy mala khup majja ali!'

Dance: We both dance around with TV on, trying to mimic the steps on screen. (His favorites are Yo-Yo Honey Singh songs and a few item numbers, so all I have to do is make some cool hand and finger movements like Honey Singh. We also do baby-doll and few other item numbers too.) I'm thinking of a dance class for him.

Legos and building blocks: His usual mega blocks and legos are with him. We build cities out of it and make connecting roads too!

Coloring: Coloring book with cartoons and lots of crayons. He doesn't like this activity much.

I'm thinking of a story telling class for him, but can't find one in my area.
 

All in 4 days.

Saturday to Tuesday at home. Lots of happenings.

• Mom and dad met with an accident while on Scooty. Went to the hospital with you. Got her home, took care of her.
• Cooked so much food!
• Messed up the workflow for managing Arya and the house.
• You don't like when I am not straightforward with maid, nanny and Maushi. I don't have the necessary management skills you think (Leaving a new born at home to do a day job is enough to make any mom drop on her knees, if she thinks that will keep the baby happy). Finally after a lot of pressure from you over the years, and lots of bad attitudes from nanny and Maushi recently, I gave in.
• I scolded the nanny for her obvious failures - late coming, uninformed absence, frequent offs, laziness. I even had a rift with maushi for her ignorance around the house and her mismanagement. The rift with Maushi BTW was started by your passing comment that she had heard. Anyway...
• Maushi left the house for now (Don't know if she will be back).
• Nanny is absconding again. Came to know that she is searching for a job elsewhere.
• You are not in your right spirits and don't want to talk much.

Today, I'm stressed about

• The impending day care search
• Adjusting maid timings
• Preparing Arya's mind for the shift to day care
• Working out his timings for drop and pick up
• Feeding him and managing his multiple tiffins
• Home management.

Here in office

• Gearing up for the tasks that were piled up due to my absence.
• Can't focus for above reasons

Too much on my plate.  Lot's. Alone.

Pretences

Do you know how much we pretend? How much we want to imprint an image of ourselves in other people’s minds?

I realised this when I observed people behaviour. When a guy sits in a fancy car and goes slowly by you. He gives you such a smug look and goes ahead, waiting for you to notice the car, and notice him in it.

When a person involuntarily removes her fancy phone from her pocket in the middle of a crowded bus for no reason, fidgets with it and keeps it back. She does this numerous times, probably unknowingly.

We want to show off that we read this, cooked this, ate this, went someplace out of the world, did this and did that!

Even in our everyday conversations if we know something and if a person who is talking to us or in our group says something smart, don’t we want to give out all the gyan we have? We want to show that we too know that. It is so difficult to stay silent and let that guy/girl take all the limelight! I know because I have tried it, to keep my mouth shut when I know something, and let other people discuss it.  

Every day we step out of our homes looking spic and span at the expense of time to reach office. We can always overtake a few cars on the road right? At least I have stopped doing that after Arya’s birth. I don’t even comb my washed hair until I reach office. (We have in-time for office). We don’t want people to think that we look shabby, but seriously who cares, until you do your job well. (Of course that doesn’t mean you land up in office looking like a lost grizzly bear.)

I used to get disappointed when Arya refuses to show what he knows/learnt to visitors. Now I admit to people that he won’t say/do stuff. Secretly, I wish he would.

Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp and other social networking have brought on more pretence amongst us. We try to pretend that we are so intelligent, smart, good looking, happy, that we have great relationships with spouse and friends, that we have smart and handsome children. The list goes on.

I am not saying pretending is wrong. Humans are social animals and some level of pretence is needed for daily responsibilities. We need some feedback and brownie points to also be motivated in life. But is it really important to go overboard with this. Is it important to sacrifice time, money and effort over it?

What if I don’t waste too much time cleaning the house for visitors, and spend time with my family instead.

What if I don’t wear average clothes and makeup to office every day?

What if I don’t care if other people are looking at me and gaping when I am driving the car? (Actually people don’t just look at you to admire your car/you driving it; they also want to ogle at you, or want to mock female drivers in general)

There might be so many such unnecessary things that I might be doing. Need to find out and stop it.

Lesser miseries.

Baneshwar, Nasrapur Trip with Arya, Yogesh, Mom and Dad

Mom and dad were at my house during the last weekend. I was getting bored at home and wanted Arya to roam a bit too, so I suggested going to Baneshwar. Dad had never been there.

We took off on Sunday the 15^th of June at 1 pm from Wakad. We crossed Katraj, Koparhol (where there is Prati-Balaji temple) and kept driving. Somehow we thought we lost the turn. After asking around, we found that we have driven farther from the temple. So we took a U-turn and went back.

We had to take the Shelar phata (crossing) near Nasrapur. Inside Nasrapur there is a cute and crowded marketplace. The roads are narrow too. About 2 kms from the Phata, we reached the entrance to the temple.

Like a switch of a button we noticed the change - the silence, the clear and fresh air, the greenery, were very inviting.

Baneshwar is a Temple of Lord Shiva at Nasrapur, located at about 40km from Pune. It was constructed by Nanasaheb Peshwa. It has an antique bell brought from Goa and put there by Chimaji Appa. The temple is located amidst lush greenery as it is a forest reserve. It has various species of trees, birds and butterflies. It even has a small river flowing at the back! But since we visited in June, it didn’t have much water. I think by August it will have a good flow.

In front of the main temple, there are 2 ponds filled with fish and turtles. It is a welcome attraction for the kids. Arya loved looking at them for a long time!
 


Arya and tortoises at Baneshwar pond

Baneshwar temple pond with fish






A view from the Baneshwar jungle
 




Garden and children's park in Baneshwar



Mom & Dad at Baneshwar Jungle

Baneshwar forest reserve

He came inside with us for darshan and sat inside for a few moments. The temple is clean and well maintained.
We bought jamuns from a vendor there (at half the price compared to Pune). In the gardens, Arya was totally his own man, all charged up and taking any road he liked. We followed him and kept clicking photos.


After looking at the river and the green surroundings, we went to the play park made there for kids. It started raining heavily and lasted for 30 mins. We enjoyed watching the rain from a shelter. I had my fill of sitting on a swing (in the rain!)

We left the playground and went to one of the 2 tapris (hotels) near the temple. It was fun to eat vada pav and drink a steaming cup of tea in the rains!

On our way back Yogesh showed us the Kailas bhel shop. I had been there with him about 5 years ago, when it was a small place. Now it is looks like a mall with so many options and so many things to buy from. The taste is still good.

We bought so many Figs and vegetables from the nearby vendors at such cheaper prices. That in itself would have made my day!

On our way back the traffic was a little heavy, but we reached by 7 pm.

Baneshwar, Nasrapur is a perfect one day picnic destination for families around Pune. Go prepared with toys for kids, mats to sit, and some eatables! Enjoy! 
Come on!!!! write something.

Nursery and the changes

Continued from the earlier post.

Arya’s school has reopened. He has moved from playgroup to nursery. He is going there with full force (i.e. one of us pushing him from behind). He cries until he becomes red in the face, with water running out of the nose, eyes and mouth. It is funny and exasperating at the same time!

He comes back and narrates the day’s teachings to us. Some of his friends from last year might have joined some other school. This guy suddenly remembers them and says ‘Mummy, Devesh kiti vasta yenar aahe school la?” or “Mummy Atharva ajun ala nahi school madhe. Late aahe ka toh?”

Poor guy. He really connects with people after a long time, and once done, he doesn’t forget them easily. By that time people move on.

He was upset cause there was a ‘Tai’ in his earlier class to open his tiffin, feed him and other kids, and take care of them like a nanny. Now he has another Tai. And the other Tai doesn’t come in this class.

His classroom also got changed. He was telling Yogesh that they don’t take him to his classroom,
they take a turn and go to some other room. It is funny to hear.

He has learnt some new rhymes immediately. One is in the Old-Mac-Donald’s tune and goes like this -

‘Vegetables are good for me,
E-I-E-I-O,
And so I eat them happily,
E-I-E-I-O’

We tried telling him the meaning of it and making him eat veggies. No luck.

He didn’t eat chapatti in tiffin, but ate the idlis that Yogesh gave him yesterday. He said Ayush brings Biscuits and Abhiram brings bananas. So he notices. I have to make sure he eats chapatti bhaji in dabba.

He is still shy and can’t make other kids give him toys or bikes to play. I want him to improve on this. Negotiation and influencing!

To be continued... 

Work and Arya's songs

It’s been a long time since I have blogged. I was eye deep in work and other things. I have stepped on many toes in these 2 months.

Office:

Last month was like ‘a dream month’ for me. I worked hard on many new things in office and got decent outcomes. I am awaiting the results for some of them. *touchwood*  

Of course the work is increasing. I had to travel to Mumbai to get something done. I stayed in Mani’s house when her family was in Goa! It was fun.

They want me to do product presentations and demos to the clients. Did I lose the touch? I came to know in a presentation that I am not afraid of talking but I need to prepare more on the subject matter. I am learning some new technologies too, that will help me to board a new bus.

Then again, I kept having migraine for 2 weeks after taking the yellow fever vaccine. I was also diagnosed with low levels of whatever vitamins there are in the world. I am doing things to improve this now.

Relatives:

While the above was on, my maternal uncle passed away and I drove my parents to his house. I waited there during the day with Arya in the scorching heat. Arya fell ill for a week after that.

Family:

Yogesh had to travel to Nagpur for a few days, but now he has his holidays going on. He is doing lots around the house these days. The poor guy hardly gets enough credit. He really cares in his own way, and tries to manage things. Ok see, I can do it! I too can compliment. (BTW, I am waiting for him to do few other things he had promised to me. Women are never content.)

Arya is turning into a hooligan. He keeps head-butting me and Yogesh unexpectedly, anywhere on our bodies. He can talk like an old granny sometimes and like a 6 month old kid the other times.

     He sings -

·         Gurur Brahma Gurur Vishnu (complete, with funny words like Bam-da instead of Brahma, and Mahesh-vada instead of Maheshvara)

·         Shubham karoti (full version with his own variations)

·         Ganadhish jo ish (first 2 lines)

·         Jana gana mana (entirely)

·         Gayatri mantra (full version with variations)

·         Prabhat vandana. Prabhate karadarshanam

·         Je ja ranjale ganjale (some lines of Abhang by Bhimsen Joshi)

Bollywood songs that he sings (2 lines each) –

·         Yashomati mayyia se bole nandalala (few lines)

·         Chanda hai tu, mera suraj hai tu (many lines)

·         Tera mujhse hai pehele ka naata (1^st para)

·         Balam pichkari/

·         Tum hi ho ashiqui ab tum hi ho

·         Babydoll mai sone di

·         Lungi dance

·         1 2 3 4 get on the dance floor

·         Taki taki from himmatwala

·         Nagaade sang Dhol baje from the new Deepika movie

He runs in the house looking for me when my favourite song is playing on TV, shouting ‘Tujha gana lagla!’

If I am thoughtful, he comes and says ‘Mumma, kay jhala tula. Ghabru nako.’

On a Saturday, when Yogesh left for office he said ‘Pappa kamavar gele mhanun tu chup basil ka?’

While cleaning something if I cough he says, ‘saokash saokash, mi pani anto, thamb’ (granny style). He even says ‘kahi nahi hot’. He gets ointment if I come home tired.

Kids are real angles 5% of the time!

Other times he hits us, doesn’t want food, doesn’t want to go to school, doesn’t want to brush/bathe, doesn’t want to sleep, doesn’t want to read/draw, doesn’t want to eat (did I write this), doesn’t want to sit silent, doesn’t want to take medicines!!!!!! The list never ends.

Continued….

Educated fools

I was coming to office today on the bike (sitting behind Yogesh). We were on the Rajiv Gandhi bridge on Mula river. I noticed that the river was starting to look a little better due to heavy rains last week.

Just then I saw a silver sedan parked at the side of the bridge on Mula river. A guy who looked liked he worked in a good company, got out of it. He walked to the edge and threw contents from a huge plastic bag in the river - flowers, garlands, cotton wicks, other cotton, papers that were used to wrap flowers, etc. After throwing this garbage, he threw the plastic bag too in the river!

I was shocked by the utter lack of shame in that guy. He showed no concern for the environment and ecosystem. PCMC has already kept decorative garbage collection bins on the bridge to discourage people from throwing it in the river. But devotees think that throwing above stuff in the river will take it to the real God. Or they don't want to throw puja stuff in regular garbage and invite the wrath of God. If people like him really believe that God is everywhere, they should not be polluting the river. Anyway, tired of the stink, God might have left the river years back!

 

Migraine and the relationship

I've joined some online migraine support forums. Basically they are ordinary people like me who go through everyday life stress with a chronic illness. I shouldn't call them ordinary people though - they are superheroes. They are doing everything and much more by taking care of their chores and responsibilities while under attack from the monster migraine.

Relationships particularly can be very difficult and if a partner suffers a headache, the other one suffers too - mentally and emotionally. Hence when I came across this link http://migraine.com/blog/spouses-and-migraine-disease/, I could relate so much to this and wanted to share it on my blog too. 

When Yogesh and I had first met, I had discussed my migraine with him clearly, but I'm sure that he didn't know what he was actually getting into. And like the lady in the article, today I do not want to ask him the question that, had he known my migraine better the day we decided to get married, would he have gone ahead with it. I'm afraid of the real answer too.

Yet, I am lucky that Yogesh cares (or sometimes chooses to ignore me altogether) when I am going through another migraine attack. His words 'Take your medicines and go sleep' make the world of difference to me. And being ignored is ok too, as then I don't have to suffer the guilt of making him 'do' stuff for me. Plus he can focus his energies on other work in the house. I know that he gets frustrated sometimes and may speak out once in a while, but that is entirely human. At such times though I feel defensive, I have to make myself let go.


It definately takes an effort to keep the relationship going, and I pray that we don't lose the will to do it.

How to keep dreaming?

Yesterday when I reached home late evening from my work, Yogesh’s face was beaming. He proudly showed me a letter, which was from the University where he had applied for a Ph. D.  It informed him officially that he can pursue the course there. This was great news! The guy works really hard to get what he wants from his career and education.  He travels for his Ph. D. work during the weekends, and goes back to his job again without a days rest. I’m sure he does lot of research on the topic he has chosen. So naturally my heartiest congratulations went to him. Few months back, he got the news that he has cleared the NET exam conducted for teaching faculty. Only top 15% of the candidates across India got certified!

But that got me thinking. He is thinking ahead about ‘his’ life. It was a good thing. I wouldn’t say it was mean or selfish, because you do need to think about your own life. By 'own life', I mean your very own individual life. Not the spouse, not the kid, not your parents, not your house. Just you.

Do I? I’ll tell you what I think. I think about retirement planning, I think about my son’s future big school, his talents, how I would develop them, about my husband’s job, about the interiors in my house... But what about ‘me’ as a person?

I used to dream of being 'somebody' someday. But somehow, after my marriage and childbirth, my dreams took a back seat. I forgot about them. I cannot recall what they were exactly. Self-development? Resolve to keep learning? Jumping higher up on the ladder? Be competitive? Achieve respect? I don’t even remember when I started thinking that it is ok to not know everything. I convinced myself that I just need to learn enough to do my job right. Wrong!

I have not entirely forgotten the fervour that I had started my career with. I was fiercely competitive, and extremely hardworking. Today too I do my job with sincerity and the aim for perfection, but the craze???

I put my singing classes on the backburner too. No one made me do it; I myself couldn’t find the time and energy. If I was so inclined, I would have done something to overcome the hurdles. But here I convinced myself that it was not so important in life. I am to blame.

I have forgotten to put that last ounce of myself in my goals and dreams. I’ve stopped thinking about what I should learn that will take me ahead, and most importantly do what I love to do. All this ranting doesn’t mean that I don’t like what I have got. I have taken these decisions and I don’t regret and blame anyone. Spending time with my family and the office work is rewarding too.

Yet when I saw his letter yesterday, I felt a pang of guilt for something that I didn’t try. Something that I gave up on. Can you be envious of your husband?

Raising a kid and working at an office job is a big juggling activity for any woman. I do all I can to make the best of the time I have at office and at home. In between these two things, I gave up on lots of dreams. Both willingly and unwillingly, but mostly because I felt there were no other options. It was easy to convince myself that they were not important. Wrong!

I know that I should keep dreaming. But how? Should I change my dreams now, or keep the same ones I had? Can I dream of achieving them? Is it right to expect so much out of myself?

Thinking.

 

More time at home and more TV to watch. Here's how.

Arya and I were down with cough and fever the last week, and so I was home since Thursday. It started with Arya 2 weeks back and it was he who infected me by constantly rubbing his face to mine. What can I do? I simply cannot control myself when the kid wants to hug me and kiss me. Cough takes time to fade away so it will be some time before I am ok.

Y has been doing tasks around to make us feel better. Ok, he did them just for me and not Arya. Arya is like Y. He doesn’t demand attention like that. *touchwood* On Friday Y muttered that I do natak when I am not well. By natak he meant that I demand to be pampered (What’s wrong in that??!). After saying that and after the small argument that ensued, he went back to his usual good self. I.e. getting hot water for drinking, taking both of us to the docs, giving us medicines and more!

Other than that, Y made strawberry jelly at home on Thursday. I made home-made orange jam on Friday. On Saturday it was Suran cha vadya in morning and Pithla with Sukat in it in the evening. On Sunday it was Chicken Soup and such.

I will post photos of jam and jelly later - they deserve a separate post.

Stayed indoors all days.

Why live with incompatibility?

Today is not the right day to post this, but this is what I keep thinking about on and off:

Why is it important to live like this for the rest of the live?
Why don't we simply stop over-trying to make things work?
Why do we want everyone else to think that everything is ok?
Why should we always try to make it work somehow?
Why do we always have to wonder what we are missing?
Why can't things be clearer?
Why are we expected to put on a mask?
Why isn't it the right thing to correct a mistake?

Confused..

Recent songs that I like (most are romantic but not all)

Here is a list of recent songs that I have in my playlist as I like them a lot. There are more that I will add to this list. My 'recent' means whenever I get to hear them the first time over radio or if a friend recommends it. It has nothing to do with the music release date.

Jeene laga hoon - Ramayyia Vastavaiyaa
Ban ke Titli - Chennai Express
Thalaiva - Chennai Express
1 2 3 4 - Chennai Express
Balam pichkari - Ye jawani hai dewaani
Dilli wali girlfriend - "
Kabira - "
Tum hi ho - Aashiqui2
Chahu main yaa naa - Aashiqui2
Sun raha hai na tu - Aashiqui2
Tu rang sharbaton ka - Phata poster nikla hero
Jee le jara - Talash
Chalao na naino se baan re - Bol Bachchan
Tere mast mast do nain - Dabang
Sanwar lu - Lootere
Kitne dafe dil ne kaha - Tanu weds manu
Chori kiya re jiya - Dabang

So, How was your weekend?

Friend: "How was your weekend, Kavita?”

Me (in my mind): "You must have gone sightseeing / to movies / to the restaurants /
visited friends / did loads of shopping right?

Me (aloud): It was ok. What did you do?

Do they ask that question so they can tell us what they did? Very few friends ask it with true intention in mind – i.e. to know how you were. Isn't that true?

Anyway, I don’t mind the question and I am ok with listening to stories. I do not feel guilty or miserable listening to them as my priorities are different.

My usual weekend is, taking care of pending house work, giving undivided attention to Arya who has not had enough of me throughout the week, watching some TV, reading books, going down in the parking for a walk, but majorly, cooking something out of the ordinary for the family. This list would match that of many other parents’ like me.

This weekend Y and me cooked (Biyancha Bhaat, Sambar, Bangda Fry, Thalipeeth, etc.) combining Saturday and Sunday.

This weekend Y was a darling. *Touchwood* Was this an after-effect of him reading my last post? I'm wondering. He had a hectic week in office from the 1^st of Feb due to events in the college, but on Friday he came home early. I too went early from work, to discover a box of pizza in the house, for me! Surprise! I loved it! And apparently Arya did to, since he too pounced on it. Sometimes I don’t like sharing. Really.

After that we went to ....wait...brace for impact...sit on a chair and hold it tight.......
 


 
Buy a cool, new, Smartphone for me!
 


 
Yea! I bought my first smartphone. My very own Samsung Galaxy Grand Quattro in Black. Y was very happy buying it for me, and wanted me to start using it right away. I wanted to keep it aside for a few more days. I'm a cheapo that way.

On hearing of the purchase and receiving my Whatsapp message (is it Watsapp or Whatsapp???? whatever), my sister couldn't believe it. Mani thinks that I still light the fire with stones. I do think that Whatsapp is cool but not indispensable and it is addictive. I’m planning to use it with some judgement.

After the purchase, Y said we can buy a stand for keeping utensils in the kitchen. We did, and it has organized the kitchen a lot. Until we invest big money in a modular kitchen, this item would do.

Arya loved helping us by moving items in the kitchen and living area. He is a busy kid. I gave him a big bag of onions and garlic to keep in the balcony. We do that to dry them a little, so they don’t spoil. Arya had to run from kitchen to balcony holding a few each time. It kept him busy.

There are a lot of smaller but amazing things we did during the weekend at home. I taught Arya where his rung was in the shoe rack. Now he keeps his chappals just there! BTW Arya has stopped using diapers too, all of his own accord. He assured me and Y that it’s not required. *I’m keeping my fingers crossed*

I digress. This weekend was amazing, and I have received amazing news now, that Y has cleared a major exam. Yay!

The irony is that no one has asked me today how my weekend was!

Lesson learnt - Ask the question yourself when you have so much to tell! Right!

 

Why do I like an outing or a weekend chillin'-out with a toddler?

Y doesn't seem to have much time for outings with me and Arya due to his over-zealous work ethics, or maybe just the lack of desire to go out. So instead of waiting around and mopping for all the lost time and weekends gone waste, I've started going out with the other guy I love – Arya. And on a few occasions - my parents.

Arya is increasingly becoming my favourite outing companion. He doesn't ask me questions like -

·         "Why do we have to go that far, when we can go here?" (Why a mall when we can go to the dukaan-vala? Why the Zoo when we can go to a garden in our society?)

·         "Can we go later?" (To make sure that I forget it.)

·         "Let's eat at home and then leave" (So we don't have to spend time eating out. And save bucks!)

·         "Do you need to buy it when you already have XYZ blah blah blah?"

Arya loves to go wherever I take him, be it a local grocery shop or a mall. He eats whatever food we buy and wherever we buy it (*touchwood*), loves it when I shop for myself or the family. I can try on clothes and show them to him. He says things like 'Mumma tu hey ghe'/'Mumma tu chhan distey'/'Boo-te-fool aahe vah vah mumma' (Mumma buy this/you look good/It's very beautiful.)

He dances to songs being played in malls like Central (CenTRRRal), Pantaloons, CCD or Barista. He doesn’t want me to hurry up and go home. He likes to hold my hand while shopping, and hug me when he feels like! (Y this is for you!)

He is also a great companion in the car, talking all the way, offering kiddie suggestions for kiddie issues, listening to songs and singing them, etc. He insists on being strapped with the seat belt each time he sits inside. If I say ‘khup traffic aahe aaj Arya’, he says ‘halu halu jau mumma’ or ‘kay kalaycha mumma? Khup taffic aahe!’

Some problems I face when I am out alone with Arya are that I have to make sure he stays within my sight, and I’ve to carry all the bags plus hold his hand. If he is hungry, thirsty or tired, I have to make sure he gets attention immediately, else it becomes difficult. The solution is to prepare beforehand or to make short trips.

Two other key issues are that I have to drive, and I have to spend from my pocket :). Y has an upper hand here.

With my mom and dad I've recently been to Khadakwasala Dam, MTDC Karla, Vashi at Mani's place, and Matheran with Mani's family. Missed Y in these trips but such is life. They are great company too. They keep talking a lot, making sure there is no silence during the journey or wherever we reach. Arya loves their company and I can relax a bit with them.

Some pics to remember.

Arya and dad at Khadakwasala dam in Pune (Aug2013)

Arya and me enjoying Camel ride at Khadakwasala dam in Pune (Aug2013)

Arya and me enjoying Camel ride at Khadakwasala
dam in Pune (Aug2013)



Arya, me, mom, maushi at Khadakwasala
dam in Pune (Aug2013)
 

Arya enjoying boat ride at MTDC resort
Karla, Pune (Nov2013)



Arya hungry at MTDC resort Karla,
Pune (Nov2013)



Arya talking to ducks at MTDC resort
Karla, Pune (Nov2013)



MTDC Karla resort layout (Nov2013)



Dad, mangal, Arya, mom at MTDC Karla



Me and Arya at Charlotte lake in Matheran (Dec2013)






Arya, Dad, Mom at Rugby resort in
Matheran (Dec2013)








Me, Arya, Dad, horseriding in
Matheran (Dec2013)





Remembering...

Remembering the tiny, yet a bright spark that lit the lives around it ever so briefly.

Diwali and Birthday 2013

Yes, it is too late to post for Diwali time but just wanted to keep this saved somewhere. Hence writing. This time had a rocking Diwali, and a lukewarm birthday.

Made lots of faral for Diwali like Chaklis, Chiwda, Khaare-Shankarpale, Rava Ladoos, and Shev. Did lighting in terrace. Lit crackers (lesser this time as Arya hates noise.) Arya too enjoyed holding the sparkler with Yogesh. Got the polluting Red and Green ones.. Will not get them next time. Laboured a lot on Rangoli this time too. I even drew a Chhota Bheem Rangoli at home with a message "Happy Diwali to Arya". Arya kept hovering around me until it was done and loved it a lot!
 

Got a cute dress for Arya. Didn't buy a Diwali dress for myself as Y wasn't in the mood (the usual).

Birthday was ok-ok. Usually, I over-expect during birthdays and get disappointed at the end of the day. This time I hardly had any expectations and it went as I expected i.e. nothing was too amazing. 

Yes, I pestered Y to get me something from the jewelle
r, and he did! I cut a cake in office and at home with Arya. Very low key... 

Guilt and the 80-20 principle

Early Morning.
Finished cooking, packed lunch boxes.
Y went to office early. Gets pickup from a colleague these days.
Getting ready for office.
Need to drop Arya to school.
Need to get him ready.
Arya insists going to potty the same time I have to have a bath!
Does timepass in washroom.
Wastes half an hour doing nothing.
Gets scolded.
I hold him by the shoulders and shake him. (somehow I didn't beat him)
He cries.
I feel guilty for losing cool and I too cry.
Feeling guilty now in office.
Crying so much makes me breathless for rest of the day.
Missing him so much.
Want to go back in time and redo things since morning.
Waiting for the evening.

Need to choose which battles to fight, using the 80-20 principle.
 

An intelligent, loving and a stubborn child - All in one!

Arya has learnt to sing India's National Anthem - 'Jana Gana Mana' in his sweet voice. I must upload the recording somewhere. He says 'Bharat Mata Ki Jai', 'Jai hind' and 'Vande Mataram' with fervour after the anthem is over. He garbles some words or joins a few words together, but overall he is great for a child less than 3 years of age.

He has learnt to stay sweet things to me and Yogesh.
'Majhi mumma avatti' (He wants to say that he loves his mom.)
'Majhi mumma dalin aahe' (My mumma is a darling.)
'Mumma tu god bal aahe' (Mumma you are a sweet baby.)

He has started calling Yogesh 'Pappa ji' and me 'Mummy ji' when he wants to blackmail us. Don't know where he learns these things. No one in my family says ‘Ji’ to anyone!

He has become more caring, and asks me 'Kay Jhala Mumma' (What happened), if I am angry or sulking after a fight with Yogesh. OR if I am feeling down, he says 'Mumma tula balla nahi? Baan lavu tula? (He cannot say Balm and says Baan. He says if you are not well, should I get some ointment for you?)

All that glitters is not gold though. Contrary to this behaviour, there is his other side -

He is becoming increasingly stubborn, and it is becoming tougher for me to discipline him each day. Any kind of explanation, logical reasoning, punishment or beating doesn't work. He gets what he wants.

Mostly he wants me, i.e. my undivided attention and energy to talk to him, play with him, listen to his rhymes and songs, colour the cartoons with him, ride the bike, feed him whatever he likes, take him for a walk ... whoooooooosh.. the list is endless.

He dislikes it if I am working on my laptop, watching TV, making the crochet sweater for
him, or even talking to his dad. Sometimes he holds my head in both his hands and jerks it towards him, bringing his nose close to my nose and saying 'Mumma tu TV nako baghus. Majha tond bagh.' (Dont look at the TV. Look at my face.) OR 'Mumma chal apan doghach ata bolu' (Let's just the two of us talk). Many a times, he just looks lovingly at my face from barely an inch away, not allowing me to look anywhere else!

He jumps on top of both me and Yogesh (mostly me 80% of the time!), punches us, pushes us, and hits us with toys and more.

While most of this is what all kids do, I still am in a fix. After cooking, office, travel and cooking once again, I lose my spirit to even swat a fly off my face by evening. I do not have the strength to play with him or read him stories in animated voices. I still manage to do some of this for a small time every day, but training and disciplining him is not so frequent.  

Is there something that I am doing wrong? I understand that he is growing up and wants focused attention from both of us, given that we are not home for a major part of the day. But we too need some space and time to unwind and relax on reaching home. Someone once told me that kids can be sensitized to their parents’ wellbeing too. Can
this be done? How?

Maybe we need to take it with a pinch of salt and pray for more patience and understanding. Most importantly we need to believe that in future he will be more manageable, and we will have more time and energy.

 

Arya and me at Rugby Resort in Matheran