A good story after a time

This is what I told my friends on chat today: 

hey
kaal mi first time arya la addition shikavla
it was so cute. 2+5=? etc.
he was counting on fingers
ill click fotos and show u of his worksheet
if it was 3 + 4 it was easy. i.e. <5 each="" easy="" hand="" i="" number="" on="" was="">
if it was 8 + 2 he got confused. one hand made 8 nahi na. i taught him to count ahead of 8 pan tyala nahi ala.
mag i taught him the line method. to draw 8 lines on paper. mag 2 lines below mag cross each line and count. he did all that way
ani his fingers are so tiny ki sometimes while counting he closes and opens any finger and gets the count wrong

it started with a workbook with big objects to count with. 1 peacock + 5 peacocks... is 6 peacocks etc.
then i moved to teach him this just with numbers, using hands for counting and adding.
At first it was easy if the count was less than 5 on each hand. Later i taught him to continue till next hand i.e 8 + 2. so he did it too.
But the problem came with 9+3!!!! now what!

So i taught him to use vertical lines on paper. Draw 9 standing lines in one row and 3 standing lines on other row and now start crossing each line while counting. He loved doing it and caught on the concept so nicely! Time well spent.

New school for my baby

Arya is going to the new school for about 2 months now. He is liking it there. Teachers are friendly and nice. I was a bit afraid to send him by bus initially and somewhat now too, but I guess I will have to get over it. He loves the bus. They call the bus driver - Driver Kaka Sir and the lady in the bus - Maushi. 

I wake him up, make his breakfast and feed him. Yogesh takes him for a bath. I have to get him ready to go. My maushi gives him milk. We hug and say "Bye bye. Have a nice day. See you in the evening."

School might be pleasant for him. Activities they make them do are Taekwondo, garden play, sports, sand play, singing rhymes, and all. They show some cartoon video everyday on LCD projector. No wonder he loves it. They are teaching him writing & reading English letters and songs on phonics. 

Arya talks many sentences in English. He can be seen composing them in mind before he speaks them out aloud. I encourage him to do this by waiting while he is fetching a word. I make sure I tell him new concepts and logic behind things. I talk with him in English and Marathi both, so he will grasp languages faster. His teacher wants us to talk in English with him. 

The school is giving lot of work for parents to do under the pretext of making us more involved in their learning. So one day it could be ‘Send 2 pictures of objects starting with Y and K each’, or ‘Send pictures of living/non-living things’, or ‘Send a Rakhi’, etc. Few days ago, it was a ‘Blue object show and tell day’. Arya picked up many objects in the house and spoke about them in English. He showed his Thomas engine toy in class and said - "This is my blue Thomas". (*sigh* *sigh* *sigh* he just said 1 line out of so many he could have!). There was a ‘Dress up as a community helper day’. We made him an ‘Indian Farmer’, and I made a Spade out of a cricket stump and some craft papers. Teachers told me that he spoke well about a Farmer that day.  They have ‘Color days’, where we have to dress him in specified color, and ‘XYZ Food day’, where we have to give him food starting with W, Y and Z!!!! Go figure!


He loves the tiffin I give him and finishes it, thanks to his teachers. Teachers tell children to finish food before the recess is over. I give bhaji-chapati, aloo / methi parathas, mix veg parathas, vermicelli, upma, pohe, sometimes rice, puri bhaji, pav bhaji, veg rolls, etc. I had given him a doughnut once which he didn’t like. He likes chapati bhaji the best.


At the end of the day I ask him what he learnt, and he tells me everything. He waits till I come home from office to tell me.  We talk about things like – Who sat next to him today, who cried for parents, who was punished in class, who was sent to toilet, if he went to toilet, why was the didi not present in washroom, what did teacher say about his writing, what did the teacher sing today, sing a rhyme, how was taekwondo - teach us, what did you play in the garden, etc. He keeps talking.

He cooks up stories and tells me in English nowadays. E.g.

It was night. Moon was in sky. Watchman was sitting at gate. There was a rat in parking. Rat runs watchman legs nearby. Watchman don’t know it. Rat goes on road to Mahalaxmi shop. Rat has baby rats (almost all characters have babies).... 

You got it right? Story changes direction suddenly without warning. E.g.

Babies are going in fighter jet. Fighter jet is very powerful jet. Big horse power. Very fast. I like fast planes. I like horsepower engine!

A poem he sings is: 
I like Flowers
I like Daffodils
I like the mountains
And the rolling hills
I like the fire side when the light are low
Bom bi yaara bom bi yaara bom bi yaara bom bi yara.....

More on school stuff later...

Shaurya and Arya

Mani was visiting my house over the weekend. Here's how the 2 kids played! They are starting to like each others company.
Arya is already used to my hugs and kisses, but I didn't let a single opportunity of squeezing and cuddling Shaurya too pass! Even though he would cry and scream!
Yogesh also didn't leave him alone. Arya allowed him to play with all his toys and even made him squeeze as a pillion rider on his baby-scooter. It was funny to watch.

Progress at the day care

He has started liking his day care now. *Touchwood*. I can see him on the camera from my office/mobile. I see him jumping, playing with other kids, eating a variety of snacks, learning something from the teachers there, sharing toys, and more.

He comes home to tell me what he did throughout the day, what he ate and what the didi or teacher taught him. Yesterday he said that he wants to stop the nursery and only go to day care/playschool!

Me: "Who was the other kid you were playing with?"
Arya: "Toh motha mulga aahe. Mumma..... please mi tyala ghari gheun yeu ka?" (He is a big kid. Mumma please, can I get him home?).
Me: "Okay, call him in the evening."
Arya: "He says he wants to go home!"
Above conversation happens frequently.

The teacher and didi's there are very energetic and love kids. I could see a teacher jumping and teaching kids something (wearing imaginary clothes) and doing activities. I cannot be so energetic for Arya all the time, so I feel that this is good. I've seen didi's carry children on their shoulders and pat them to help them sleep. I loved it.

One day when Maushi was in Mumbai, I even kept him for the whole day. I was a bit anxious, but Arya took it well. I called him up to tell him that he should sleep and he slept till Yogesh arrived.

Lucky so far... *touchwood again*

It brings me to the uneasy situation of telling his nanny on phone that I most likely would continue Arya's day care henceforth. I liked her and would miss her very much. (Really, can a mom get attached to her childs nanny that much!?)

So, all the best to me!

A Day Care! After all this...

I finally had to let go of my baby's long term nanny about 10 days back (for atleast a month I guess). I went to the day care and paid them before I could change my mind again.

I was fed up of her uninformed absenteeism, and that too for 10 days at a stretch sometimes. For the past 6 months she had only worked for about 15 days per month, which is not right if she is supposed to be a daily babysitter. I could manage so far cause I have my aunt staying with me (for better or for worse), but the delays in her in-time, going earlier than her out-time, no pre-intimation before leaves, etc., was getting on my nerves.

She was a caring babysitter though. She looked after Arya since he was 6 months of age and was very caring about him, fed him well, did other house work that was out of her normal JD. So, well it was a tough choice. Now I have to manage the baby stuff as well has the entire chores in the house. Although technically I won't DO everything, I still have to make sure they get done. And that's a whole lot stressful than doing them yourself.

I have put Arya is a nice day-care facility nearby. They have lots of fun stuff to play with and Arya will get kids his age to play. There is a beautiful arrangement for sleeping and they give variety of food to the kids. I saw the hygiene in kitchen and around, and it was good. I even spoke to the cook and she seemed a homely and caring lady. Day care stays in touch with me too.

So now he has to go to daycare post his schooling hours. It broke my heart to think that my baby will be staying for a larger chunk of his day outside of his home. When I was in school, I used to imagine my favorite corner in my home and think of getting there as soon as possible. It is the same with me now. I know Arya will want to go home after his normal school hours. I feel so sorry for him. It is not fair.

On his first day of the daycare, I made the preparations and talked to him about them. But at around 12 pm I came to know on calls that he was crying a lot, not eating food, and didn't want to stay there. I cried in office too and couldn't eat lunch. Stressful time for me and Arya...(for Y it was just another routine day)

A few days have passed now, and he is still not okay with the day care. I still feel sad for him and wonder why we want kids when we can't take care of them ourselves. There's a small change however. Arya tells me these days what variety of food there was in the daycare, the different types of games they play there, and the sleeping arrangements there, or what his didi said to him. He enjoys a tiny bit of the day and keeps waiting for my aunt to take him back home.

The babysitter has apologized, and I may or may not give her another chance, but I do have an option now. I don't know if I did the right thing, and I hope things work out somehow.

Onomatopoeia! And other fun incidences with Arya

1.       Hapin-bhapin bhipin-bhapan.

These are the words Arya uses to animate fights when he is playing the role of Bheem. If there is a takkar of 2 cars he says Bhapaan. 

These words are so funny. I wonder how he came up with these. 

·         The other day he was describing to me some boulder that fell down in a garden (I have no idea where this was - school, my building or TV). He said, "Mummy, Galdan madhe to dagad dhass padla". (The boulder fell in the garden with a dhass noise.)

·         Then again there are dichaun, dadham, etc., used wherever applicable.  

2.       Location ala

 

Yesterday he was asking, "location ala?".

I didn't understand what he meant, so I asked, "What location? Is it related to Dad?"

"Nahi tula location aahe." (No ,you have location)

"Okay, good". Didn't understand a single word 

3.       An incident in one evening showed his sensitivity. I was sitting on the couch, staring into the void. Arya notices whenever I sit in 'thinkers' pose.  

Arya: Mummy tu aj ashi sad ka disti aahes? (Mom why are you looking so sad today?)

Me: I'm not sad sonu, I am just thinking.

Arya to Yogesh: Pappa, hi aj sad aahe. Hila TV lavun dya ani doctor cha lava TV madhe. (Dad, mom is looking sad, so please put Dr. House serial)

Arya to me: Mummy, tula Guddu Babbanchi athvan yete ka? (Do you miss your parents? He calls his maternal grandparents Guddu-Baba.)

Arya continued: Guddu-Baba Vashi madhe aahet. Mag tey Pimpdi la janar, nantar they aplyakade yenar, ok? (He said that my parents were in Vashi at my sisters place, then they would go back to their house in Pimpri and later visit us.) 

 

Sometimes he says to Yogesh: Pappa, hila bhuk lagli asel. Hila jevan dya na.

 

Or to me: Mummy tu majhi friend banli aahes. (Mom you've become my friend)

4.       Indian Maggi

 

On Monday morning I was by the kitchen table making vermicelli. He loves it and calls it Indian Maggi. This way I don't have to deny Maggi to him. Whenever he wants Maggi, I give him vermicelli. He doesn’t know my trick so far.

 

Arya: Mummy, aj tu majha sathi kay banavti aahes khayla? (What are you making for me?)

I showed him the packet.

Arya smiling and hugging me: Mummy, tu changli aahes. Tu majhi friend banli aahes. (You are so nice. You have become my friend.) 

5.       Bath Tub

 

I was bathing him yesterday. He used to hate bathing in a tub before. I had bought a round tub for him when he was little. Now he barely fits into it. When we were at Mani's house last weekend, he saw Shaurya bathing in it and tried it. Since then he wants me to use the older bathtub at my home to bathe him.

 

Arya: Mummy, mala pink round bathtub madhe anghol karaychi aahe. Pan Shaurya jhopun anghol karto na? (I want to have a bath in our pink and round tub. Shaurya lies down while having a bath)

Me: Nahi sonu, tyacha tondat pani jail na. So he doesn't lie down in the tub. (No he doesn't, or there'll be water in his mouth.)

Arya: Ok. Tu mala motha tub an. Pink colour cha. (Ok. Pls get a bigger tub for me. Pink in color.)

Me: Ok. I’ll get it on Saturday.

(But I know he is very particular and remembers things well.)

So I say: Pink color nasla tar konta color anu? Yellow anu ka? Or Purple? (Can I get a Yellow or a Purple one if not Pink?)

Arya thinks: Chalel.

But just after a few minutes he says: Nahi mummyyyyyy, Pink color ach an. (No, I want Pink)

Me: Ohhh, thik aahe.

An intelligent, loving and a stubborn child - All in one!

Arya has learnt to sing India's National Anthem - 'Jana Gana Mana' in his sweet voice. I must upload the recording somewhere. He says 'Bharat Mata Ki Jai', 'Jai hind' and 'Vande Mataram' with fervour after the anthem is over. He garbles some words or joins a few words together, but overall he is great for a child less than 3 years of age.

He has learnt to stay sweet things to me and Yogesh.
'Majhi mumma avatti' (He wants to say that he loves his mom.)
'Majhi mumma dalin aahe' (My mumma is a darling.)
'Mumma tu god bal aahe' (Mumma you are a sweet baby.)

He has started calling Yogesh 'Pappa ji' and me 'Mummy ji' when he wants to blackmail us. Don't know where he learns these things. No one in my family says ‘Ji’ to anyone!

He has become more caring, and asks me 'Kay Jhala Mumma' (What happened), if I am angry or sulking after a fight with Yogesh. OR if I am feeling down, he says 'Mumma tula balla nahi? Baan lavu tula? (He cannot say Balm and says Baan. He says if you are not well, should I get some ointment for you?)

All that glitters is not gold though. Contrary to this behaviour, there is his other side -

He is becoming increasingly stubborn, and it is becoming tougher for me to discipline him each day. Any kind of explanation, logical reasoning, punishment or beating doesn't work. He gets what he wants.

Mostly he wants me, i.e. my undivided attention and energy to talk to him, play with him, listen to his rhymes and songs, colour the cartoons with him, ride the bike, feed him whatever he likes, take him for a walk ... whoooooooosh.. the list is endless.

He dislikes it if I am working on my laptop, watching TV, making the crochet sweater for
him, or even talking to his dad. Sometimes he holds my head in both his hands and jerks it towards him, bringing his nose close to my nose and saying 'Mumma tu TV nako baghus. Majha tond bagh.' (Dont look at the TV. Look at my face.) OR 'Mumma chal apan doghach ata bolu' (Let's just the two of us talk). Many a times, he just looks lovingly at my face from barely an inch away, not allowing me to look anywhere else!

He jumps on top of both me and Yogesh (mostly me 80% of the time!), punches us, pushes us, and hits us with toys and more.

While most of this is what all kids do, I still am in a fix. After cooking, office, travel and cooking once again, I lose my spirit to even swat a fly off my face by evening. I do not have the strength to play with him or read him stories in animated voices. I still manage to do some of this for a small time every day, but training and disciplining him is not so frequent.  

Is there something that I am doing wrong? I understand that he is growing up and wants focused attention from both of us, given that we are not home for a major part of the day. But we too need some space and time to unwind and relax on reaching home. Someone once told me that kids can be sensitized to their parents’ wellbeing too. Can
this be done? How?

Maybe we need to take it with a pinch of salt and pray for more patience and understanding. Most importantly we need to believe that in future he will be more manageable, and we will have more time and energy.

 

Arya and me at Rugby Resort in Matheran

Ganesh Festival and the Nostalgia!

I love festivities, especially the ones that go on for a longer time like Ganesh festival, Navratris, Diwali, Christmas and even Ramadan. It feels like the whole city gets charged up - lively, and bright.

Ganesh festival came with the usual fervour this time too. There were huge stalls and pandals selling Ganesh idols in various colours, designs and sizes. E.g. Ganesh sitting on his parent’s lap, Ganesh studying for IIT, Ganesh dancing on Kalia naag and more. There were lines and lines of shops selling decorative items like paper mandirs (called Makhars in Marathi), lighting strings, buntings, small LED lights and such, so that you can get your Ganesh home to a beautifully decorated place. There were shops selling puja items too. Above all, there was always a crowd of people before every shop and stall selecting their Ganpati, choosing the right decorations, buying last minute puja items. A walk on the street didn’t seem like a hectic task but a pleasure.

Being a true Punekar, I love Dhol-Tasha too. Even before the festival begins, lots of groups practice these drums in schools and playgrounds. If you stand close to the drum beats, you experience heavy thudding in your heart with every beat. You begin to anticipate and also know correctly when the next Tasha or Dhol will strike. I enjoy this feeling.

People brought their Bappa home, covered in a white cloth, while shouting ‘Ganpati bappa morya’! Small kids were running in circles around the person carrying the idol.

When I was a kid, my friend and neighbour Seema would bring Ganpati at home. I and my sisters would try to help out with decorations if needed (so many kids create more nuisance than help.) I got to learn so many Aarti’s by attending the morning and evening prayers during those 10 days for about 15 years. I can still remember her mom singing Aarti’s, while I and Seema read them out from a booklet. The Prasad was always delicious, and my mom would sometimes sponsor it too.

After I got married, I attended Ganpati celebrations each year at my friend Aarti’s place, who was also my neighbour. She involved me in decorations, getting the Ganpati home, help in making Prasad (rarely), singing Aarti’s, immersion processions, etc. Yogesh and I even led a prayer at their home once.

This year, I was missing Ganpati celebration a lot as I had shifted to my new house across the city. I couldn’t go to Aarti tai’s place, and really wanted to give Prasad to God, but didn’t know how. I wanted Arya to see the puja and decorations too.

We took Arya to see Ganpati pandals in our locality. We saw immersions happening on the 7th day at a river nearby, the people dancing, drums, etc.

I began missing the childhood and past days even more. It was the 9^th day… just 1 more day to go.

That was when I got a call from another friend – Sarita. She had a Satya-Narayan puja at her home, and a Ganpati that they would immerse in the afternoon. The best thing was that I was invited for the Puja! And she even called us for lunch.

We went to her place yesterday morning. The Ganpati idol, lighting and decoration were simply amazing. I could do the puja and give Prasad to God. Arya could see the Bappa at home. The lunch was delicious – a menu of puran-poli, amti, bhajji, papad, chapati, varan bhaat! Yogesh, me and Arya ate till we were stuffed. We enjoyed every moment!

Somehow Ganpati knew my small wish and fulfilled it through my friend. This year I realised that more than my fascination for the festival, I felt the need to be there.

Ganpati bappa morya!

I spent the evening watching the immersion procession and dhol-tasha performances on TV.

It’s school time for Arya - 2

Arya’s first day in the school. 

Arya was very excited to go to school, mainly because he wanted to wear the new dress, carry the new bag, wear socks and the new floaters! There was even a new lunch box!

I was concerned though. I had read so much about separation anxiety.
What if he couldn't open his lunch box? (I should have taught him to do it at home.) How would he eat?
Would he be able to find his new sipper and drink water from it? (This was the new non-spill sipper I had got for him to ensure the water doesn't spill in his bag.)
What if his diaper gets dirty and no one checks?
What if he doesn’t like the other kids? What if the kids hit him?

On the big day, we got him ready. He looked like a very seedha-sadha bachcha, a first bencher type. Yogesh and I carried him to the school. When we reached there, Arya saw so many kids cry while their parents went back from the gates. That was when he got the hang of the situation. He hadn't expected this. He cried when they took him inside, 'Aye mumma, aye mumma, tu ye tu ye'... (Mom you too come inside).  The whole building was full of screaming kids! We waited outside the building for about 5 mins and went back home.
When he came back, Arya was very happy and excited to see us. He was jumping around and talking a lot.

‘Sonu, kuthe gela hota’ (Where did you go?)

‘Kool madhe gela hota’ (I had gone to the school)

‘Kay kela school madhe?’ (What did you do in the school?)

‘Cycle khel-la’ (I played with the bike)

This continued for a few days. As long as I or Yogesh dropped him, he was happy to go. He even ate his dabba (pohe, upma, alu-paratha) and drank water. He told us every day that he played cycle in the school. There was no mention at all, of what the school teacher taught him that day. 

Within a few days we saw some progress, as he began to sing Alphabet song and some other rhymes in his usual style - missing a few words and combining some to form new ones! He sang the tune perfectly though. We still encourage him by singing along with him and clapping when he finishes a rhyme.

All was going well until there were changes in Yogesh's office time and my office hours increased. To top it off, Arya's regular class teacher changed too...

To be continued...

It’s school time for Arya - 1

(This is an article I wanted to write in July but have written and posted it now.)

Preface – Expect the unexpected.

I was in the middle of my busy work day when I got an SMS from Arya’s would-be play-school, and quite unexpectedly, I felt a slight twinge in my heart. What? So soon??!!!

I was aware that the school would send some communication to parents few days before it starts. The message was to inform parents about an orientation meeting and its date. Parents would get to know the teachers, get the allotted school bags for kids, have their kids measured for uniforms, etc.

I have spent most of the last month telling Arya - ‘Sonu, ata school aahe pudhcha mahinya pasun. Tu janal na?’ (He had no idea but replied.) ‘Haaa’

Yet I felt a little sad when I got the SMS. It was because now my baby who would stay home for the whole day playing around had grown up just a tiny bit. He would be leaving home for few hours and not be around us. I curtailed this emotion with thoughts like - it is just playschool, it is only for a few hours, and I didn’t even need to send him there every day!

I attended the orientation meeting with Arya, wondering how he would take it, cause he hadn’t been away from home without one of us around. When we entered the compound, we saw some bikes for kids. Arya sat on a green one that was the most attractive. Since then I didn’t have to bother looking at him for the rest of my time there!

He didn’t come upstairs with me to the meeting. Other teachers kept an eye on kids playing in the compound. I was proved wrong. He didn’t mind being around other kids if there are enough bikes around. The meeting lasted for 1.5 hour and I was worried - What if he falls? What if someone pushes him? What if he wants me and couldn’t find me? I came down to see Arya happily playing on the same bike! He didn’t even want us to go back home… I had to drag him out!

 

To be continued…