A song I love and can relate to...

A song that I love and something that I can relate to.
The tune is amazing and the singers are so talented...you must hear this song!

The Fray

"How To Save A Life"

Step one, you say, "We need to talk."
He walks, you say, "Sit down. It's just a talk."
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
'Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defence
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
Pray to God, he hears you
And I pray to God, he hears you

And where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life

How to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life

How to save a life

 

Rediscovering

Rediscovering -
I had forgotten my individuality after marriage.
I thought life was just about making him believe I was really 'the one'.
I thought that he can never be angry or get frustrated with me.
I thought that he should love my opinions, or what I want to do.
I wanted to make sure he doesn't keep grudges against me.

Now I know -
We can agree on very little. That's the fact of life for me. So why try to please?
Any one of us could get upset over a small matters too, and we make it known to the other person.
It coule be a situation based or subject based reaction.
Ignoring the other persons temper can work. I don't need to over analyze and over explain things. I am what I am.
Staying calm is hard to do, but can work. It is really hard to do.
I know that in the long run, I would not remember many of these issues, and the same goes with him. But I don't want to remember my life as 'lived by someone else's rules'

Take aways -
To do what I like to do in my life, trying not to hurt sentiments of anyone.
Keep my opinions and beliefs intact, unless proven wrong.
Stop showing my love, care, and capabilities all the time.

 

Progress at the day care

He has started liking his day care now. *Touchwood*. I can see him on the camera from my office/mobile. I see him jumping, playing with other kids, eating a variety of snacks, learning something from the teachers there, sharing toys, and more.

He comes home to tell me what he did throughout the day, what he ate and what the didi or teacher taught him. Yesterday he said that he wants to stop the nursery and only go to day care/playschool!

Me: "Who was the other kid you were playing with?"
Arya: "Toh motha mulga aahe. Mumma..... please mi tyala ghari gheun yeu ka?" (He is a big kid. Mumma please, can I get him home?).
Me: "Okay, call him in the evening."
Arya: "He says he wants to go home!"
Above conversation happens frequently.

The teacher and didi's there are very energetic and love kids. I could see a teacher jumping and teaching kids something (wearing imaginary clothes) and doing activities. I cannot be so energetic for Arya all the time, so I feel that this is good. I've seen didi's carry children on their shoulders and pat them to help them sleep. I loved it.

One day when Maushi was in Mumbai, I even kept him for the whole day. I was a bit anxious, but Arya took it well. I called him up to tell him that he should sleep and he slept till Yogesh arrived.

Lucky so far... *touchwood again*

It brings me to the uneasy situation of telling his nanny on phone that I most likely would continue Arya's day care henceforth. I liked her and would miss her very much. (Really, can a mom get attached to her childs nanny that much!?)

So, all the best to me!

A Day Care! After all this...

I finally had to let go of my baby's long term nanny about 10 days back (for atleast a month I guess). I went to the day care and paid them before I could change my mind again.

I was fed up of her uninformed absenteeism, and that too for 10 days at a stretch sometimes. For the past 6 months she had only worked for about 15 days per month, which is not right if she is supposed to be a daily babysitter. I could manage so far cause I have my aunt staying with me (for better or for worse), but the delays in her in-time, going earlier than her out-time, no pre-intimation before leaves, etc., was getting on my nerves.

She was a caring babysitter though. She looked after Arya since he was 6 months of age and was very caring about him, fed him well, did other house work that was out of her normal JD. So, well it was a tough choice. Now I have to manage the baby stuff as well has the entire chores in the house. Although technically I won't DO everything, I still have to make sure they get done. And that's a whole lot stressful than doing them yourself.

I have put Arya is a nice day-care facility nearby. They have lots of fun stuff to play with and Arya will get kids his age to play. There is a beautiful arrangement for sleeping and they give variety of food to the kids. I saw the hygiene in kitchen and around, and it was good. I even spoke to the cook and she seemed a homely and caring lady. Day care stays in touch with me too.

So now he has to go to daycare post his schooling hours. It broke my heart to think that my baby will be staying for a larger chunk of his day outside of his home. When I was in school, I used to imagine my favorite corner in my home and think of getting there as soon as possible. It is the same with me now. I know Arya will want to go home after his normal school hours. I feel so sorry for him. It is not fair.

On his first day of the daycare, I made the preparations and talked to him about them. But at around 12 pm I came to know on calls that he was crying a lot, not eating food, and didn't want to stay there. I cried in office too and couldn't eat lunch. Stressful time for me and Arya...(for Y it was just another routine day)

A few days have passed now, and he is still not okay with the day care. I still feel sad for him and wonder why we want kids when we can't take care of them ourselves. There's a small change however. Arya tells me these days what variety of food there was in the daycare, the different types of games they play there, and the sleeping arrangements there, or what his didi said to him. He enjoys a tiny bit of the day and keeps waiting for my aunt to take him back home.

The babysitter has apologized, and I may or may not give her another chance, but I do have an option now. I don't know if I did the right thing, and I hope things work out somehow.

Help for the street kids

I pass by University Chowk flyover each day in my car on the way home. There are some families how live under the flyover with their kids, and little ones.

Yesterday amidst the usual traffic jam there, I saw a touching sight. I saw a young couple surrounded by their few belongings, talking about something animatedly. There was a lean young man sitting a few feet away from them with a baby, about 1 year old, on his lap. The baby was wearing a shirt with a few buttons missing. The man was feeding the baby mixed dal-rice from a plastic bag. Some grains were falling over as the baby was distracted by all those cars stuck in traffic just a few feet away. I was touched looking at the scene. Where did the dad get the mixed dal-rice from? Was it sufficient for the baby and the dad both? Wasn't it too cold for the baby to be clothed so minimally?

There are many such families under that bridge alone. What have the kids done to deserve a life so cruel? Just because they were born in a poor family?! Does that mean they do not deserve to be kept warm? Fed right? Vaccinated? Educated so that they get an equal chance in our world too? Can they? Because I'm sure that there would be at least a few brilliant kids there, who would never see a school.

As much as we educated people think otherwise, these people don't get the same opportunities. We try to pacify our minds by saying that government is doing a lot for the poor, that poor don't want to take pains to educate themselves, they don't want to develop new skills, but is that true? Do these street kids know what schemes there are? Where they are? Whether they are eligible? Do their parents know the importance of such welfare schemes? Does someone convince the parents to take advantage of such schemes?
I do not think so.

Some people I know cannot even take advantage of the RTE act by the government where schools are supposed to reserve a certain percentage of their seats for underprivileged students. Schools don't want to do it because they can't get full aid for these kids from the government. Parents of well-to-do kids do not want their kids to mingle with underprivileged kids. School teachers see lifestyle parity within such students and are not able to teach the class fairly! I read some time back that there were ridiculous issues like going to a picnic in such schools where poorer kids cannot afford to go and it creates a problem for the school. Other issues include fancy stationary and study material! Lots of schools in Pune itself do not want to implement RTE act at all!

The most critical thing is the eligibility. Parents have to have certain certificates to prove they are residents in the area to send their kids to schools. Many such people (even those staying in the area for years) do not have these certificates, so it is a futile case for people who are homeless or are migrant labourers.

I thank my luck each day, 'cause my parents were able to afford my education and help me stand on my feet. But it shouldn't mean that I look away from needy people. Looking away doesn't make them go away. Looking away wouldn't make me feel better. Insensitivity is not a great talent to be acquired or developed.

I am going to extend my help to these kids in some way. I know that just 'Pity' won't help them, but I could.