Malkauns bandish taught to my mom

राग मालकौंस - राग वर्णन

तब मालकौन्स गुणी चतुर गाय -२
जब ग म ध नि को कोमल बनाए
जब ग म ध नि को बिक़रत बनाए
रब मालकौंस गुणी चतुर गाय||ध्रू||

मेल करत भैरव मध्यम सुर
औन्श समय नित त्रितिय करे प्रहर
री प वर्जित ओढ़व बनाए ||१||

Another cheez taught to my mom when she was a kid. I learnt just listening to her sing it.

Meaning - 

A talented artist can sing Malkauns when he / she can make the swaras G, M Dha Ni Komal.

it is a raag to be sung at the third prahar and it is a odhav type of raag with R and P missing.

Yadunandana jhani dhav naa. - Bhairavi

बंदिश - राग - भैरवी
ताल - त्रिताल (तीन ताल)
------------------------------------

यदुनन्दना झनि धाव ना
पळ धीर ना, अधिरा मना ||धृ||

भाव सागरी, मती बावरी
छळती जिवा कटू भावना ||१||


------------
I have grown up listening to this cheez or bandish in Raag Bhairavi from my mom. It is an old and a rare one and she sings it so melodiously. (some wordings might need correction as this is from her memory when she learnt it almost 50 years ago!)

A bandish that I liked in Raag Gaud Malhar- Jhuki aayi badariya sawan ki

बंदिश - राग - गौढ मल्हार.
ताल - तीनताल


झुकी आई बदरिया सावन की

सावन की मन भावन की ||०||

---

सावन में  उमगे मन अपना

छान्ड चले परदेस पियरवा

सुध ना रही घर आवन् की ||१||


Raag Gaud Malhar- Jhuki aayi badariya sawan ki

Meaning - The dark clouds are looming low in monsoon. A monsoon that I love with all my heart.
Monsoon helps us find our soul and my beloved is about to leave me and go to foreign lands.
I shed my sense to come back home.

Learning Raag Bhairav - a soothing morning raga

I'm learning Raag Bhairav these days. 

It is a morning raga with komal re and komal dha and all other swaras shudha. This raga has andolit Dha swar. e.g. 'dha dha Pa Ma Pa Ga'. 

I am enjoying the songs in this raga. The Chhota Khayal being taught to me on this is - 'Guru ek data vishwavidhata' in Tritaal/Teental.  The Bada khayal being taught is 'Baalamva More Sainya', in Tritaal/Teentaal.

Known hindi film songs on Raag Bhairav are 

• Jaago mohan pyare
• Mohe bhool gaye Sanwariya
• Sun ri pawan
• Aai Malik tere bande hum 

Currently we are preparing for a in-house program of our class members dedicated to our guru. so we are also learning a group song 'Guru ne dila dyana rupi vasa'

Kamal Maushi - a pure and a simple soul

Kamal maushi.

I don’t know why I suddenly remembered her. I wanted to cook some rice today and was bored of the usual dal bhat. I was thinking of making some type of rice that won’t have garam masala and that would involve less effort. One such rice was a simple yellow rice that Kamal maushi used to make, adding onions, green chili and potatoes. I would come running from school and demand the cooker to be opened even before it cooled down!

Kamal Maushi was my mom’s elder sister. She was a calm and demure person, who usually stayed out of crowds and chaos. She was also the only child out of my grandmothers eight kids who was unmarried. She was thin and had an average appearance that was accentuated by the fact that she stayed in plain clothes, hid herself from the family, and felt sad that she was alone in life.

As a child she helped her mom a lot in their kitchen, helping to cook a meal for 14 people at least thrice a day. She loved reading and was sharp in studies but could peruse her academics only till the 9^th standard because her specs broke one day, and her parents didn’t have money to get a new pair! Kids sacrificed a lot back then! They didn’t mind owning only a pair of clothes and didn’t mind stitching and wearing the same old ones.

After my granddad passed away and in the years that followed, somehow marriage slipped Kamal maushi and she had to stay single. She hated it – to be dependent on brothers and sisters for daily bread and butter. My uncle and others tried but couldn't find the right match for her.

Maushi and Ajji stayed with us for a few years at our Pimpri house. Although my dad didn’t talk much to them, he didn’t fight or cause problems to them either. Even then, it was natural for Maushi to feel like she was imposing her stay. She felt helpless. I rarely saw her laughing and smiling, but sometimes I caught her laughing when our family used to crack jokes on each other. She might have be missing this family feeling, but she didn't let us know.

Of all kids (my cousins), I was her special! She knew that I loved garam garam varan bhat and I loved dal served right after it first comes to a boil! 

At my cousins wedding in Mumbai, among so many guests, relatives and my cousins, she would find me and serve me the steaming rice and dal! I always thought that I was her only favorite, but later knew better, when my other cousins also narrated such incidents!

As a teenager I wasn't very sensitive to her feelings though. We didn’t know what she needed, like clothes or wanted to eat something different. I remember that she kept saying she wanted to eat kebabs and that I should ask my dad to get chicken kheema one day. She said she would make it for all of us. A simple wish! But I was too involved in my own world. I didn’t know what kheema was and wasn’t interested, so never told my dad. She couldn’t tell anyone herself. So she never had it in our house.  

Mom also said that Maushi mentioned to someone that my mom never bought a Saree for her while she stayed in our house. My Mom had her own problems taking care of 3 daughters, balancing her husband’s mind while keeping her mom and her sister at our place! No one is blame. My mom took care of them for years, provided for them and never ill spoke to them!  No matter what we do, we always feel that we could have done more. 

Later Maushi moved to my uncle’s empty house with Ajji. One day she came home to meet us and she showed me a swelling under her ear saying she has gotten it tested and the results are awaited. She wanted me to say something but I was shocked! I told her not to worry. That day she also told me that I should get married someday (In my late 20s I was dead against the idea of a marriage). She told me that marriage was very important in life. It allows you to have someone to take care of you, to rest your head on someone shoulders, to have kids who will call you mom. She said that she wanted to get married. Her elder sister’s husband had even brought a few prospects for her but somehow it didn't work out, so she had declined. She felt that now anyone would have been ok. She told me that parents do not last forever…. I didn’t know what to say. 

She was wearing a red saree the day when she was leaving. I went to the building gate to see her off. I told her to come back again the next week. She replied that she might not get to make it back again. I kept waving until she turned around the street corner. While waving I sadly thought ‘what if she really cannot make it to Pimpri the next time’!

I was in final year engineering and had just submitted my last exam paper in college, when I came to know the diagnosis on phone. She had limited time with us! I sat there and cried my heart out not knowing what to do. I didn’t want her to leave us!

We visited her a few times and I was a bit afraid to see her each time. The illness was taking its toll. I sat near her, talked to her, avoiding the illness subject. She wanted me to sit near her but I was afraid. It all feels so foolish now. She might have felt so sad knowing that I was afraid to look at her. She liked Maggi and my other maushi use to feed it to her (why not?). 

When I was leaving that day, I cried. Does a dying person know that probably she would see me the last time? From her balcony, did she watch me and my mom walking to the main gate thinking that this is the final time she can see us?

After a few weeks we got the news that she was no more. All her sisters, relatives and us cousins were devastated. Funny how you dress a person in green with all bangles and all after they are no more, while never giving them the respect a married lady gets their whole lives.

I saw her in my dreams later a couple of times and had asked her how she was. I also asked her why she was here. No answers…

A pure and a simple soul she was…   

Diversion - Breakfast and tiffin items for kids

I am pretty disturbed lately with behavior of some people around me. And there is always a post-argument thoughts whether I was right or should I have just let it go? 

So rather than sulking tonight over these thoughts, I feel that it is better to write something positive. I am not a great writer but I can pen down my thoughts, just like everybody else.

Now tonight's topic can be - breakfast n tiffin items for kids.

I am a working mom and do not have much time to make breakfast. I sleep late (reading books, or reading online books, or reading some article on phone etc.). There is also this new soap that I watch called 'Ratris Khel Chale' on Zee Marathi, but more about that later.

Ok.... working moms too want to give their kids healthy breakfast. In fact, they innovate to make it in lesser time. Arya does not crib to eat plain chapati bhaji for breakfast or lunch, but I still give him some variety. Here are a few items I make in the morning for breakfast cum tiffin.

1) Vermicelli upma or India Maggi - This is Arya's all time favorite dish, guaranteed to bring me an empty lunch box. We call this India Maggi 'cause Arya used to want Maggi from the packet but I thought, it is good to give something home made instead and healthier too. I began calling it India Maggi and he thought that it is no less than the real Maggi. I use roasted Vermicelli (get Bambino roasted vermicelli for saving your time). 
a) For every cup of uncooked Vermicelli, almost 1 cup of water is needed (probably lesser). 
b) Bring this water to a boil and add chopped carrots/french beans/capsicum in this. Go for whichever vegetable is available. Chop veggies overnight for a quicker job. 
c) Heat a wok and add oil, mustard seeds, curry leaves, green chilies, onion and fry this, after some time add tomatoes. Let all this lose water. 
d) Now directly add the Vermicelli and some salt. Stir this for some time to coat the semolina with oil and spices. 
e) Use a perforated ladle to pick veggies from the water and add in Vermicelli. Pour water little by little in the semolina to make sure it is not soggy. (Some people boil Vermicelli first ensuring it is not soggy and then do the rest of the stuff. This is also a good method. In fact you can cook semolina overnight and just give a tadka the next day, but we do not like this way of cooking it somehow.)
Done. This dish needs about 10 min of cooking time.

2) Thalipeeth
a) I have prepared a mixed flour of all whole grains (wheat, sorghum, channa dal, moong dal, whole rice, urad dal, little coriander seeds etc.) But you can buy thalipeeth bhajni in any kirana store in Maharashtra. 
b) Before sleeping at night I knead the dough by adding some chopped onions, tomatoes, any green vegetable leaves (methi, palak etc) or coriander leaves, some salt, turmeric, chili powder. Add water and knead. Keep this overnight in fridge. Onion and tomatoes lose water so make sure that you knead using as little water as possible. It is ok if the dough seems to be breaking at places. It will look better in the morning. If you are making it immediately though, you can add more water and make the dough pliable. 
c) The next day take a old plastic bag (milk packet bag, or dal packet bags) and make a square plastic out of it. 
d) Take  a palm sized ball of the dough and pat on this plastic. Make this roti about .5 cm thick. Now lift the plastic and gently remove the thalipeeth on your other palm. 
e) Place this on a hot tava adding a little oil. Cook on both sides. This takes some time to cook. But in the morning you only need to do the patting and roasting, so it is faster. 
Serve with some tomato sauce.


Coming up someday... Green Moong dal dosa, Mixed vegetable parathas, Aloo parathas, thai vegetable rolls, fried rice, and more ;)

parents

My parents are still my pillars of strength. They still give me guidance and support when I need them the most. I am sick some days a month due to migraine and I know the truth that Y is becoming more and more negligent of it. At such times, my parents are the only people whom i can call and open up my mind.
At other times when i am feeling sad, i can call them and they uplift me again. 

My dad

Writing after a long time. every time i write something and read my articles after a few days, i end up thinking that i was such a different person back then. That's why i think i should write. many times i don't get the right spirit for it though.

Lately i have faced many challenges and continue to face some of them.

My mom and dad were like pillars of strength and support for me during these times. my friends were like my energy boosters. i keep going back to them whenever i am down.

amidst all the work (office, child care, house work, managing affairs around our lives), i forget how much i get tired and stop thinking bad.

today in a hurry i dropped Arya to his bus pick up point for school. i was having a migraine attack and went in that flurry. couldn't bear to stand in the mild morning sun and couldn't bear the noises of cars passing by... but the bus came in time and i saw him off.
i was walking back the lane when i saw my dad at the end of the road. he was going out to buy his daily newspaper.  he waited for me to come closer and said 'kiti barik vatli ga tu lambun'. (you looked so small from afar). he made a gesture with his hands that he didn't mean height wise, but width wise. with trembling lips he sounded so concerned.

now, i am not a diet fan. i eat anything i like as long it is not too oily, spicy or salty.  and i eat till i want. i don't over eat or under eat. so my weight is unchanged. i haven't become thin or fat. yet, i was so touched. no one stops and cares unselfishly for anyone, other than our parents. and he had proved that point.

in the daily run of the mill, even spouses do not appraise each other well. but parents do.
i am a huge sympathy craver and a softie, i think. as he is ageing, even my dad is becoming sentimental for small reasons.

company

he is coming with me to Om Shanti center, library, parlor, singing class, chai tapri, idli tapri, temples and all! he is good company. sometimes he sleeps off at anyplace in my lap or on the floor, if he is bored or tired, but he never troubles or irritates. he doesnt like me changing to outdoor clothes unless im taking him along! 

A good story after a time

This is what I told my friends on chat today: 

hey
kaal mi first time arya la addition shikavla
it was so cute. 2+5=? etc.
he was counting on fingers
ill click fotos and show u of his worksheet
if it was 3 + 4 it was easy. i.e. <5 each="" easy="" hand="" i="" number="" on="" was="">
if it was 8 + 2 he got confused. one hand made 8 nahi na. i taught him to count ahead of 8 pan tyala nahi ala.
mag i taught him the line method. to draw 8 lines on paper. mag 2 lines below mag cross each line and count. he did all that way
ani his fingers are so tiny ki sometimes while counting he closes and opens any finger and gets the count wrong

it started with a workbook with big objects to count with. 1 peacock + 5 peacocks... is 6 peacocks etc.
then i moved to teach him this just with numbers, using hands for counting and adding.
At first it was easy if the count was less than 5 on each hand. Later i taught him to continue till next hand i.e 8 + 2. so he did it too.
But the problem came with 9+3!!!! now what!

So i taught him to use vertical lines on paper. Draw 9 standing lines in one row and 3 standing lines on other row and now start crossing each line while counting. He loved doing it and caught on the concept so nicely! Time well spent.

तुतारी - Keshavsut

Found this poem on another blog Nishadkulkarni's 
It is written by Keshavsut. It is a very inspiring poem, so posting it here. Will write the meaning of it soon.

तुतारी

एक तुतारी द्या मज आणुनी
फुंकीन जी मी स्वप्राणाने
भेदुनी टाकीन सारी गगने
दीर्घ तिच्या त्या किंकाळीने,

अशी तुतारी द्या मजलागुनि
जुने जाऊ द्या मरणालागुनि
जाळूनी किंवा पुरुनी टाका
सडत न एका ठायी ठाका
सावध ऐका पुढल्या हाका

खांद्यास चला खांदा भिडवूनी
एक तुतारी द्या मज आणुनी
प्राप्तकाल हा विशाल भूधर
सुंदर लेणी तयात खोदा
निजनामे त्या वरती नोंदा
बसुनी का वाढविता मेदा

विक्रम काही करा चला तर
हल्ला करण्या ह्या दंभावर,ह्या बंडावर
शुरांनो या त्वरा करा रे
समते चा ध्वज उंच धारा रे
नीती ची द्वाही फिरवा रे
तुतारीच्या या सुरा बरोबर

New school for my baby

Arya is going to the new school for about 2 months now. He is liking it there. Teachers are friendly and nice. I was a bit afraid to send him by bus initially and somewhat now too, but I guess I will have to get over it. He loves the bus. They call the bus driver - Driver Kaka Sir and the lady in the bus - Maushi. 

I wake him up, make his breakfast and feed him. Yogesh takes him for a bath. I have to get him ready to go. My maushi gives him milk. We hug and say "Bye bye. Have a nice day. See you in the evening."

School might be pleasant for him. Activities they make them do are Taekwondo, garden play, sports, sand play, singing rhymes, and all. They show some cartoon video everyday on LCD projector. No wonder he loves it. They are teaching him writing & reading English letters and songs on phonics. 

Arya talks many sentences in English. He can be seen composing them in mind before he speaks them out aloud. I encourage him to do this by waiting while he is fetching a word. I make sure I tell him new concepts and logic behind things. I talk with him in English and Marathi both, so he will grasp languages faster. His teacher wants us to talk in English with him. 

The school is giving lot of work for parents to do under the pretext of making us more involved in their learning. So one day it could be ‘Send 2 pictures of objects starting with Y and K each’, or ‘Send pictures of living/non-living things’, or ‘Send a Rakhi’, etc. Few days ago, it was a ‘Blue object show and tell day’. Arya picked up many objects in the house and spoke about them in English. He showed his Thomas engine toy in class and said - "This is my blue Thomas". (*sigh* *sigh* *sigh* he just said 1 line out of so many he could have!). There was a ‘Dress up as a community helper day’. We made him an ‘Indian Farmer’, and I made a Spade out of a cricket stump and some craft papers. Teachers told me that he spoke well about a Farmer that day.  They have ‘Color days’, where we have to dress him in specified color, and ‘XYZ Food day’, where we have to give him food starting with W, Y and Z!!!! Go figure!


He loves the tiffin I give him and finishes it, thanks to his teachers. Teachers tell children to finish food before the recess is over. I give bhaji-chapati, aloo / methi parathas, mix veg parathas, vermicelli, upma, pohe, sometimes rice, puri bhaji, pav bhaji, veg rolls, etc. I had given him a doughnut once which he didn’t like. He likes chapati bhaji the best.


At the end of the day I ask him what he learnt, and he tells me everything. He waits till I come home from office to tell me.  We talk about things like – Who sat next to him today, who cried for parents, who was punished in class, who was sent to toilet, if he went to toilet, why was the didi not present in washroom, what did teacher say about his writing, what did the teacher sing today, sing a rhyme, how was taekwondo - teach us, what did you play in the garden, etc. He keeps talking.

He cooks up stories and tells me in English nowadays. E.g.

It was night. Moon was in sky. Watchman was sitting at gate. There was a rat in parking. Rat runs watchman legs nearby. Watchman don’t know it. Rat goes on road to Mahalaxmi shop. Rat has baby rats (almost all characters have babies).... 

You got it right? Story changes direction suddenly without warning. E.g.

Babies are going in fighter jet. Fighter jet is very powerful jet. Big horse power. Very fast. I like fast planes. I like horsepower engine!

A poem he sings is: 
I like Flowers
I like Daffodils
I like the mountains
And the rolling hills
I like the fire side when the light are low
Bom bi yaara bom bi yaara bom bi yaara bom bi yara.....

More on school stuff later...

Do I need to be happy?

Why do I need to be happy? Happiness is a human term, and I don't think I should struggle so much to be happy.

I don't want to spend my life in a lengthy pursuit of happiness, when I know it is not worth it. Reasons? One, it doesn't last. Two, it is already too late when you find some. Three, it requires too much of an effort. Four, it is too little if you even find it.

Can't living suffice? I mean I am alive today and breathing. I will live this day and if I am lucky the next one too.  Isn't that enough?

There are so many books written on How to be Happy. So many blogs, so many training sessions, so many do gooders telling you how to be happy. I wonder why?

But what if just living monotonous isn't enough? What if at the age of 70 (if that is in my cards) I find that 'How I lived my life was very important' and then it would be truly late. Regret again is a concept created by humans.

I think "Living my life without regrets" - should be the motto. To live by this motto, I will need to make so many changes.

Again, are all the changes worth it?

Why are some people always happy?

Today on the reader’s-corner notice board, I read a review on the book - 

Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

I have not read the book above, but I was interested. I mean what is it that makes me feel happy? Sometimes I am happy merely by looking at the rains out of my window. Other times I get am melancholy even though everything is going super great.

Some people are always happy no matter what (of course with basics like food, clothing, shelter, health and education fulfilled). And some people feel miserable no matter how good their stars are! 

I personally know people of both the kind.

Happiness break-up:

• When I was reading today I found this article (http://thehappinesscoach.biz/do-you-know-what-determines-your-happiness/) saying that our ability to feel happy is 50% derived from our genetic makeup! So if my parents always saw sunshine, I would inherit it too! I really know happy couples, whose kids are smiling all the time! Yeah, we can't change our genes, but we can surely change ourselves.

• 10% of our happiness depends on external factors like finances, clothes, makeup, attractiveness, respect, fame, etc.

• 40% depends on how we think, apply good principles to use in our life, achieve goals, be kind, not to get dejected with our setbacks. Still a huge percentage there.

A suggestion to be happy was (http://thehappinesscoach.biz/happiness-habit-4-conscious-acts-of-kindness/) that for 21 days you should write a quick 2 liner mail to a person thanking them for the good work they do, or for the help they are to you. I will try to do this.

Another point was to recollect one perfect moment in the past 24 hours, where you were so happy. Think of it in as many details as you can. I am going to write about such moments as often as I can on this blog. This will help me notice the no. of happy moments I miss.

More coming soon…

I like this poem

A piece from "FATHER FORGETS" - W. Livingston Larned

 

 

Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little

paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily

wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room

alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper

in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me.

Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross

to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because

you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took

you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily

when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You

gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table.

You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you

started off to play and I made for my train, you turned

and waved a hand and called, “Goodbye, Daddy!” and

I frowned, and said in reply, “Hold your shoulders

back!”

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I

came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing

marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated

you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to

the house. Stockings were expensive - and if you had to

buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son,

from a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library,

how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in

your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at

the interruption, you hesitated at the door. “What is it you

want?” I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous

plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed

me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that

God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect

could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the

stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped

from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me.

What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault,

of reprimanding - this was my reward to you for being a

boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected

too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of

my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in

your character. The little heart of you was as big as the

dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your

spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night.

Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bed-side

in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand

these things if I told them to you during your waking

hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum

with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you

laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I

will keep saying as if it were a ritual: “He is nothing but a

boy - a little boy!”

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see

you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that

you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother’s

arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much,

too much.

 

Arya's songs

Arya has learnt to sing (this was supposed to be posted 1 yr back! but I saw it in draft today and am posting it now)

Mujhe maaf karna Om Sai ram (he says om salee laam)
Tujse pele lunga mummy daddy ka naam
----He thinks I am both mummy and daddy.




 Raghupati Raghav (laghupati lagav) from a Hritik's film.

We saw his group dance in the annual function on Raghupati Raghav. It was the most beautiful thing to watch!