Pretences

Do you know how much we pretend? How much we want to imprint an image of ourselves in other people’s minds?

I realised this when I observed people behaviour. When a guy sits in a fancy car and goes slowly by you. He gives you such a smug look and goes ahead, waiting for you to notice the car, and notice him in it.

When a person involuntarily removes her fancy phone from her pocket in the middle of a crowded bus for no reason, fidgets with it and keeps it back. She does this numerous times, probably unknowingly.

We want to show off that we read this, cooked this, ate this, went someplace out of the world, did this and did that!

Even in our everyday conversations if we know something and if a person who is talking to us or in our group says something smart, don’t we want to give out all the gyan we have? We want to show that we too know that. It is so difficult to stay silent and let that guy/girl take all the limelight! I know because I have tried it, to keep my mouth shut when I know something, and let other people discuss it.  

Every day we step out of our homes looking spic and span at the expense of time to reach office. We can always overtake a few cars on the road right? At least I have stopped doing that after Arya’s birth. I don’t even comb my washed hair until I reach office. (We have in-time for office). We don’t want people to think that we look shabby, but seriously who cares, until you do your job well. (Of course that doesn’t mean you land up in office looking like a lost grizzly bear.)

I used to get disappointed when Arya refuses to show what he knows/learnt to visitors. Now I admit to people that he won’t say/do stuff. Secretly, I wish he would.

Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp and other social networking have brought on more pretence amongst us. We try to pretend that we are so intelligent, smart, good looking, happy, that we have great relationships with spouse and friends, that we have smart and handsome children. The list goes on.

I am not saying pretending is wrong. Humans are social animals and some level of pretence is needed for daily responsibilities. We need some feedback and brownie points to also be motivated in life. But is it really important to go overboard with this. Is it important to sacrifice time, money and effort over it?

What if I don’t waste too much time cleaning the house for visitors, and spend time with my family instead.

What if I don’t wear average clothes and makeup to office every day?

What if I don’t care if other people are looking at me and gaping when I am driving the car? (Actually people don’t just look at you to admire your car/you driving it; they also want to ogle at you, or want to mock female drivers in general)

There might be so many such unnecessary things that I might be doing. Need to find out and stop it.

Lesser miseries.

Baneshwar, Nasrapur Trip with Arya, Yogesh, Mom and Dad

Mom and dad were at my house during the last weekend. I was getting bored at home and wanted Arya to roam a bit too, so I suggested going to Baneshwar. Dad had never been there.

We took off on Sunday the 15^th of June at 1 pm from Wakad. We crossed Katraj, Koparhol (where there is Prati-Balaji temple) and kept driving. Somehow we thought we lost the turn. After asking around, we found that we have driven farther from the temple. So we took a U-turn and went back.

We had to take the Shelar phata (crossing) near Nasrapur. Inside Nasrapur there is a cute and crowded marketplace. The roads are narrow too. About 2 kms from the Phata, we reached the entrance to the temple.

Like a switch of a button we noticed the change - the silence, the clear and fresh air, the greenery, were very inviting.

Baneshwar is a Temple of Lord Shiva at Nasrapur, located at about 40km from Pune. It was constructed by Nanasaheb Peshwa. It has an antique bell brought from Goa and put there by Chimaji Appa. The temple is located amidst lush greenery as it is a forest reserve. It has various species of trees, birds and butterflies. It even has a small river flowing at the back! But since we visited in June, it didn’t have much water. I think by August it will have a good flow.

In front of the main temple, there are 2 ponds filled with fish and turtles. It is a welcome attraction for the kids. Arya loved looking at them for a long time!
 


Arya and tortoises at Baneshwar pond

Baneshwar temple pond with fish






A view from the Baneshwar jungle
 




Garden and children's park in Baneshwar



Mom & Dad at Baneshwar Jungle

Baneshwar forest reserve

He came inside with us for darshan and sat inside for a few moments. The temple is clean and well maintained.
We bought jamuns from a vendor there (at half the price compared to Pune). In the gardens, Arya was totally his own man, all charged up and taking any road he liked. We followed him and kept clicking photos.


After looking at the river and the green surroundings, we went to the play park made there for kids. It started raining heavily and lasted for 30 mins. We enjoyed watching the rain from a shelter. I had my fill of sitting on a swing (in the rain!)

We left the playground and went to one of the 2 tapris (hotels) near the temple. It was fun to eat vada pav and drink a steaming cup of tea in the rains!

On our way back Yogesh showed us the Kailas bhel shop. I had been there with him about 5 years ago, when it was a small place. Now it is looks like a mall with so many options and so many things to buy from. The taste is still good.

We bought so many Figs and vegetables from the nearby vendors at such cheaper prices. That in itself would have made my day!

On our way back the traffic was a little heavy, but we reached by 7 pm.

Baneshwar, Nasrapur is a perfect one day picnic destination for families around Pune. Go prepared with toys for kids, mats to sit, and some eatables! Enjoy! 
Come on!!!! write something.

Nursery and the changes

Continued from the earlier post.

Arya’s school has reopened. He has moved from playgroup to nursery. He is going there with full force (i.e. one of us pushing him from behind). He cries until he becomes red in the face, with water running out of the nose, eyes and mouth. It is funny and exasperating at the same time!

He comes back and narrates the day’s teachings to us. Some of his friends from last year might have joined some other school. This guy suddenly remembers them and says ‘Mummy, Devesh kiti vasta yenar aahe school la?” or “Mummy Atharva ajun ala nahi school madhe. Late aahe ka toh?”

Poor guy. He really connects with people after a long time, and once done, he doesn’t forget them easily. By that time people move on.

He was upset cause there was a ‘Tai’ in his earlier class to open his tiffin, feed him and other kids, and take care of them like a nanny. Now he has another Tai. And the other Tai doesn’t come in this class.

His classroom also got changed. He was telling Yogesh that they don’t take him to his classroom,
they take a turn and go to some other room. It is funny to hear.

He has learnt some new rhymes immediately. One is in the Old-Mac-Donald’s tune and goes like this -

‘Vegetables are good for me,
E-I-E-I-O,
And so I eat them happily,
E-I-E-I-O’

We tried telling him the meaning of it and making him eat veggies. No luck.

He didn’t eat chapatti in tiffin, but ate the idlis that Yogesh gave him yesterday. He said Ayush brings Biscuits and Abhiram brings bananas. So he notices. I have to make sure he eats chapatti bhaji in dabba.

He is still shy and can’t make other kids give him toys or bikes to play. I want him to improve on this. Negotiation and influencing!

To be continued... 

Work and Arya's songs

It’s been a long time since I have blogged. I was eye deep in work and other things. I have stepped on many toes in these 2 months.

Office:

Last month was like ‘a dream month’ for me. I worked hard on many new things in office and got decent outcomes. I am awaiting the results for some of them. *touchwood*  

Of course the work is increasing. I had to travel to Mumbai to get something done. I stayed in Mani’s house when her family was in Goa! It was fun.

They want me to do product presentations and demos to the clients. Did I lose the touch? I came to know in a presentation that I am not afraid of talking but I need to prepare more on the subject matter. I am learning some new technologies too, that will help me to board a new bus.

Then again, I kept having migraine for 2 weeks after taking the yellow fever vaccine. I was also diagnosed with low levels of whatever vitamins there are in the world. I am doing things to improve this now.

Relatives:

While the above was on, my maternal uncle passed away and I drove my parents to his house. I waited there during the day with Arya in the scorching heat. Arya fell ill for a week after that.

Family:

Yogesh had to travel to Nagpur for a few days, but now he has his holidays going on. He is doing lots around the house these days. The poor guy hardly gets enough credit. He really cares in his own way, and tries to manage things. Ok see, I can do it! I too can compliment. (BTW, I am waiting for him to do few other things he had promised to me. Women are never content.)

Arya is turning into a hooligan. He keeps head-butting me and Yogesh unexpectedly, anywhere on our bodies. He can talk like an old granny sometimes and like a 6 month old kid the other times.

     He sings -

·         Gurur Brahma Gurur Vishnu (complete, with funny words like Bam-da instead of Brahma, and Mahesh-vada instead of Maheshvara)

·         Shubham karoti (full version with his own variations)

·         Ganadhish jo ish (first 2 lines)

·         Jana gana mana (entirely)

·         Gayatri mantra (full version with variations)

·         Prabhat vandana. Prabhate karadarshanam

·         Je ja ranjale ganjale (some lines of Abhang by Bhimsen Joshi)

Bollywood songs that he sings (2 lines each) –

·         Yashomati mayyia se bole nandalala (few lines)

·         Chanda hai tu, mera suraj hai tu (many lines)

·         Tera mujhse hai pehele ka naata (1^st para)

·         Balam pichkari/

·         Tum hi ho ashiqui ab tum hi ho

·         Babydoll mai sone di

·         Lungi dance

·         1 2 3 4 get on the dance floor

·         Taki taki from himmatwala

·         Nagaade sang Dhol baje from the new Deepika movie

He runs in the house looking for me when my favourite song is playing on TV, shouting ‘Tujha gana lagla!’

If I am thoughtful, he comes and says ‘Mumma, kay jhala tula. Ghabru nako.’

On a Saturday, when Yogesh left for office he said ‘Pappa kamavar gele mhanun tu chup basil ka?’

While cleaning something if I cough he says, ‘saokash saokash, mi pani anto, thamb’ (granny style). He even says ‘kahi nahi hot’. He gets ointment if I come home tired.

Kids are real angles 5% of the time!

Other times he hits us, doesn’t want food, doesn’t want to go to school, doesn’t want to brush/bathe, doesn’t want to sleep, doesn’t want to read/draw, doesn’t want to eat (did I write this), doesn’t want to sit silent, doesn’t want to take medicines!!!!!! The list never ends.

Continued….